We all know that friendships are an important part in life – whatever kind of life you have. We all know that we should associate ourselves with positive people and stay away from negative people. In your community, work, school or even in your own family, you choose how to closely associate with people in each group or create a proper distance with some. But what if we still have association either to study with, work with or live with negative people who have unwholesome ways of thinking, speaking and doing.
Number 1: Be honest with yourself
Be honest with yourself about how you feel towards a person. Do you generally feel worse when you hang out with the person? Do you feel drained of energy whenever you spend time with him or her? An unhealthy friendship might be bad for your mental health and wellbeing. So, it’s time to finally be true to yourself. Life is about making clever choices. Making friends is a big one.
Number 2: Learn to let go of their words
Negative people will keep dominating us with their words and our annoyance seem to be the source of their pleasure. Listening to what they say can easily annoy our feelings. However, it’s nearly impossible to expect them to change. So, instead of trying to change their words that might sometimes seem impossible, a feasible approach is changing the way we deal with them. If we don’t take their words, they won’t matter to us.
Number 3: Use reasoning rather than emotions
Sometimes just by getting close to or having to a talk to negative people frightens, irritates or annoys us already. It’s mostly important to calm our mind down and come back to our senses. Don’t respond with anger even if they make you feel angry. Respond politely and out of compassion. If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
Number 4: Only talk about what you really need to
Negative people don’t like to keep things straight to the point. They criticize people. They talk about the favor of what they did to us in the past or the favor that they make empty promises for the future. It’s our job to keep the talk or the work straight to the point. So, we don’t have to spend our time listening to something that is not only inappropriate and useless, but also we don’t have to absorb negative energy from their words and their actions. In addition, make sure that what you say is true, useful, appropriate, mindful, endearing and full of compassion.
Number 5: Be mindful not to inherit their characters
Living with fools their ideas, their words and their actions become a part of our memory. If we are not mindful, this negative memory might fool us and makes us accept that the wrong is right.
The most challenging part about living with fools is we MUST not become a fool ourselves. The only way to do that is to spend more time with positive friends and much less time with the negative ones. Lord Buddha mentioned that the only circumstance you should spend your time with negative people is when you want to help them change and you are really ready to do so.
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