Many couples would have a sweet love at the beginning but later on they start arguing. Why that happens and what can we do to have long healthy relationship?
“We all long for a sweet and passionate love because that makes us feel pleased and happy. I really understand that, but a lot of time when we started to have a longer term of relationship. It turns out that the relationship started to transform or change. We have more arguments than that sweet moments that we are looking forward to have and most of the time we don’t know why that’s happening. One thing to bear in mind is; the closer we are with someone, the easier we see the negative side of the person, and normally it’s easier for us to see a negative side of the person than the positive.
For example, when you live with somebody, since we’re growing up from different places, we have developed different habits of doing things; of using toilet, the way we go to sleep, time to go to sleep, and these little things started to bother our mind unconsciously, little by little, we started to accumulate those disturbance until finally one day we don’t know and started to become upset or irritated about every little things, that already become our mental habit. If you really look back into your life as with your partner, you will notice that those things your argument about, always starts from very very small and little things that doesn’t seem very significant but it turns out that the argument becomes something huge, something very major.
So,the foundation of all relationship lies upon one concept; it’s all about giving, whether it’s about giving trust, giving kind words, giving help, being consistent, acceptance, flexible and forgiveness. It’s all about learning how to give, embrace the flaws of the person. When you love someone, you have to take the whole package; positive and negative. Every couple needs to develop two things in common in order to reduce argument; number one is perspective or mindset, number two is discipline or the lifestyle. If these two are match, then the couple will have less argument.
The question is how can we develop these two factors? and that is all about communication. Learn to communicate with your partner little by little. These two person will have to share the overlapping space to be together and it’s all about learning how to adjust to each other, embracing each other, communicate with each other, until you really have that peaceful space and that sense of love”