There’s a saying, “When we think of the past we are depressed when we think about the future it makes us anxious when we are present we are being calm and peaceful.”
A lot of people have endured traumatic experiences in life and it tends to be a stigma that scar our life, our feelings, our judgment all the time.
Ironically people try to forget it and try to pretend it doesn’t exist. The reality is that nobody can forget past experiences. We never forget anything we only pretend that we don’t remember them, it’s like putting all the dust under the carpet whenever we are vulnerable, lonely, or tired these memories come back. It makes us feel more depressed because it comes back with the matters that make us feel disappointed, guilty, or shame so that’s why if we keep living in the past it keeps blocking us from moving forward into the future.
So, the very first suggestion, to overcome all these traumatic experiences, is to accept. The moment that we accept that we have it, it’s the moment that we decide to let it go. Imagine if you want to clean your house, but you don’t acknowledge the dust or trash in your house, you will never go right to that place and clean it up, but the moment that we accept that the trash is right there, and needed to clean them, it’s already part of me, it’s already inside my house then I will start engaging.
Number 2, in order to make us more motivated about the future, it is to be reminded of our present goal. So what we can do is we write down the things we want to achieve and things that will make us feel hopeful in life or things that will make us feel purposeful in life, these will keep us more grounded, more present and then we can move our focus into something that matters, finally, we slowly overcome the traumatic things in the past. At the end of the day, there are two choices, whether we choose to live in the past or live with the past. Eventually, when we start to accept, we start to overcome them one by one, we are going to be happily living with them.