There are three aspects of a relationship: first is understanding, second is sharing, and third is space. This article will focus mainly on “understanding” how to become an understanding person to have good relationships with others. Understanding means knowing what other people think and see from their perspective, and, most importantly, understanding people also have their problems. However, most people don’t understand this because their mind is unclear. If we compare the mind to a glass of water, which is murky or clouded, we will not be able to see anything inside. You can also compare it to wearing dirty glasses; you won’t be able to see the actual world or its true nature; what you see is being distorted. That is how we misunderstand.

Misunderstanding is the cause of many broken relationships. So, what can we do to have a better understanding? What we can do is clear the mind; if the reason is clear, you will be able to understand that everyone has their problem. One strange thing we usually think, our problem is the biggest one in the world. Why? Because the problem is closer to your mind, it is closer to you.

To make it clear, let’s take a look at this situation. Suppose one day you go for a walk in a public park and accidentally get cut by a small sharp twig, making a tiny wound, and you bleed. So you try to stop the bleeding, but it won’t. At that point, you feel worried. You ask people for help, but no one helps you. You become desperate and upset, thinking why nobody is helping me even though I am bleeding? Since you are bleeding from your arm, you focus more on that tiny wound. The problem close to us is the big problem from our perspective. An object closer to you looks much more significant than an object far away. For example, the sun is enormous, but because the sun is so far, we only see the sun as a small ball in the sky. No matter how far or near the problem is, it will be the same. When the problem is very close to us, it looks so big that we want to get it out immediately. We don’t want the problem to stay with us and make us unhappy, but we forget that everyone is fighting their own battle and has their own issues. Sometimes, people might face more significant problems than ours, but we fail to consider them because our mind is unclear.

When our mind is unclear, we won’t be able to think it through and trust our self. How can you trust yourself when you are blindfolded or wearing dirty glasses? You don’t have 100% visibility, but when you have clean mirrors with clean visibility or when the water is clear, everything can easily be seen, and then you can put yourself in other people’s shoes. Understanding is one of the critical factors for having a healthy relationship. If our mind is unclear, we cannot put ourselves in other’s shoes, and then it’s impossible to understand them.

Many types of research have proven couples and friends who meditate a lot or meditate together have a relationship that usually lasts longer and smoother with less conflict because of having a better understanding toward others.